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(re)finding your WHY

I am often told that my social media posts - especially on Facebook - are too long. BUT they say to write like you talk and, if we've ever met in real life, then you know I'm chatty and use 12 words where I could use one, so . . . #sorrynotsorry

Recently, I shared a post about the importance of "finding your WHY" when chasing big goals and it was another long one. But, even after the lengthy FB post, I still have more to say, so . . .


If you've ever been on your own journey of self-discovery / self-development or weight loss, then you've probably had someone tell you that the key to success is "finding your WHY".

And, it’s true.

Being able to clearly identify and connect with WHY you're working towards a goal can certainly help motivate you to see even the toughest mission through.

However, what doesn't get talked as often is what to do when that original WHY stops “working" for you - because, it will.

So, why does that happen? And, when it does, what do you do about it?

Usually, the biggest reason that your initial WHY stops “working” for you is because your pain points have changed. The things that once motivated you to make changes in the first place are no longer relevant or as urgent to you as they were earlier in your journey. This is because you've done the work, made progress, and, as a result, you are feeling so much better; more accomplished, productive, successful - you name it!

woman with sensors on face for sleep study
The day I settled on and committed to my first WHY.

a woman in workout clothes with hands on her hips
Half-way to my weight loss goal, I decided I needed to connect with a new WHY!

And, while feeling better is DEFINITELY worth appreciating and celebrating, those feelings can often cause you to take your foot off the gas and to question whether obtaining your big goal is important, necessary, or even worth it. You start to get comfortable where you are and begin to think that - even though you’re not at your big goal yet - where you are is so much better than it was and "good enough”.

And, for some, this is the point in the goal-chasing process where they simply...stop. They quit. They never reach their goal and instead choose to live in the “good enough”.

But, for others, this point can trigger a pattern of on/off again commitment to seeing the goal all the way through. It's harder to find the motivation now. This can be a tough time in the process full of a lot of self-shaming, self-sabotage, frustration and even backwards progress.

The good news is that with a little work and reflection, you can often avoid getting stuck in the "good enough" by taking time to identify a brand spankin' new WHY.

No matter what type of goal you're chasing - if you've made progress, then you are no longer the same person you were when you started. You are different and chances are the pain points that motivated you at the beginning have changed, so it makes sense that your WHY should, too.

Identification of a new WHY will reconnect you to a larger, more relevant purpose and can help you find the discipline needed to make the choices that will get you to your next (or final) goal and keep you from living your life stuck at "good enough".

If this is currently where you find yourself, fear not! Here are a couple of tips to help you find and connect to a new WHY so you can effectively take on the next phase of your journey:

  1. REVIEW YOUR INITIAL WHY - Is it still as relevant, important or urgent as it was when you got started? If not, what's changed?

  2. EVALUATE YOUR CURRENT PAIN POINTS - what’s causing you the most distress, discomfort, inconvenience or dissatisfaction in your daily life? What are your most pressing or important concerns (as they relate to your goal)?

  3. HOW WILL REACHING YOUR GOAL SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM - Think about how reaching your goal (or the next phase of your process) will help resolve or alleviate your current pain point or problem? And, how you will feel when that current pain point or problem is resolved? Does the idea of not having that pain or problem any more excite you or re-energize you? (Not sure? Ask yourself if you’d be willing to say 'no' to chips and queso if it meant that you no longer had that problem or pain and that your WHY became your truth? If your answer is 'yes', then you’ve likely found your next WHY. If your answer is 'no', then you might need to keep digging.)

If you need help digging deeper and finding your deepest, truest WHY, then heck out the free + anonymous website It's a simple website but an effective exercise. Through a series of redundant prompts, it’ll take you 7-layers deep into WHY achieving your goal is important and ultimately, help you get to your truest and most motivating WHY.

I recently sent a coaching client to this website, and she was surprised when her initial goal of "losing weight and liking what I see in the mirror" eventually became a much deeper, much more vulnerable "because everything is easier when I am healthy." That truth - that deeper WHY - is really why getting healthy and losing weight really matters to her, and discovering that got her reconnected and back in action!

Now, you go give it a try and report back ...



Hi, I'm Kate.

Multi-passionate creative.

Professional optimist.

Lifetime dreamer.

Self-development junkie.

Learn more HERE.

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